Cecil and his marriage thing
This was the fourth in Cecil's 'man and wife' series...something he would continue well into the 30s and 40s. All 4 contained Gloria, and this was the second one pairing her opposite another Demille favorite: Thomas Meighan. Meighan was a pretty cool guy...he was the only witness to Olive and Jack's marriage and he also paid a good chunk of Valentino's bigamy bail money (even though he barely knew Valentino). Meanwhile this was the beginning of 'Swanson Mania' and Gloria was becoming one of the hottest stars around. Anything she did or said became a fad. She was the 'Dark Mary'. And she was about to enter contract turmoil...but for this moment all was right.
It was an amazing movie all around. An all star cast, snarky title cards, Natacha Rambova fashions (stolen by her captor Theodore Kosloff), AND a cat fight!!! CAT FIGHT!!! Lets review shall we?
Plot
The film opens with a husband Robert Gordon (Thomas Meighan) and wife Beth Gordon (Gloria Swanson) in the bathroom trying to get dressed up and ready. Beth keeps annoying the hell out of poor Robert who's just trying to shave without nicking himself. Eventually she asks him to lace up her dress, but she squirms so much it becomes comedic over sexy.
Later we see what the pair get up to during the day. Beth is a nerdish bookworm who in a phrase could be described as 'ball busting'. She does nothing but lecture and mother her husband: decrying letting his dog in the house, telling him no smoking or drinking, and chides his taste in music as 'vulgar'. Instead of the Fox Trot she'd rather listen to 'The Dead Poet' a somber tune.
Tired of his castrating wife, Robert decides to go to the fashion house and buy her 'some lingerie'. What this qualifies in today's terms isn't quite known...if its supposed to be a nightie its quite elaborate (in typical Rambova fashion). Overall I think its just supposed to be a sexy little thing to get him going. One of the models (yes they have live models to display the 'lingerie') is Sally Clark (Bebe Daniels) a childhood friend of Robert's who had a crush on him since she was a young thing. She tells her friend she "loves a man with curly hair!"
She proceeds to vamp the hell out of Robert, who agrees to purchase the design she wore. Later that night as hes being nagged to death Robert tries to focus on the impending arrival of his gift. As Beth listens to 'The Dead Poet' the gift arrives and he excitedly tells her to 'put on whats in the box and then come out here'. Beth tries it on, and has a fit at how 'outrageous' and 'shocking' it is. Robert tries to convince her its hot but she decries him telling him if he wanted her to look oriental he 'shoulda married a Turkish girl!'
They fight and (assumedly Robert gets none) the next day we see Robert at his desk. He calls Beth and invites her to the Follies, trying to make up for the night before. Beth decries the follies, and says some of the women and 'Radinioff (Theodore Kosloff)' will play for them. Robert cant imagine anything more dull and has a fit saying no way. He hangs up on Beth, and at such a convenient moment Sally arrives. She had taken the knickers off of the outfit before she displayed it, and thus they had forgot to send them with the rest of the outfit. So she was there to deliver them (thinking what this actually means is hilarious: shes bringing panties to Thomas Meighan!) Robert tries to give her the Follies tickets, but in the end they agree to go together.
Beth meanwhile has no clue where her husband is and we see a bunch of stuck up society women swooning to the 'gorgeous gentle' musician Radinioff (I don't think he was that hot, but maybe thats just me!) He tries to hit on Beth, who is offended. Meanwhile Robert and Sally are having a blast, and arrive back at her apartment drunk. She has the coolest couch ever (record player in the one arm rest, booze in the other) and they proceed to have a blast and dance the dirty fox trot. They kiss and Robert freaks out, because even though hes mad he doesn't want to cheat. Unfortunately Sally perfumed him earlier so he was doomed to get caught.
When he comes home somewhere around 2am Beth is furious but is set to make up. Until she smells the perfume. Shes furious, accuses him of cheating, and starts packing her things. Robert says that's silly, and he'll leave in the morning. He does and the pair divorce.
Time passes and Robert marries Sally after the divorce is final. Beth's Aunt tries to cheer her up by buying her a new dress but Beth finds it stupid. Until she overhears some models gossiping about her divorce (it was in the society pages). They blame it on her not pleasing her husband or dressing nicely, and acting motherly. Beth has a huge fit, and grabs every piece of feather and fabric in front of her and orders 6 or so dresses. She vows to change, so that it is no longer her fault.
Next we see Robert and his new bride in the same dressing situation we seen him and Beth in at the beginning of the film. Only instead of being in the way and fidgety Sally is baby like (she literally talks baby talk to him) and wants a lot of attention, thus being a distraction. Robert is annoyed all the same. Crying to get her way, Robert agrees to take Sally on a vacation to a resort she seen in a magazine. By chance its where Beth is vacationing.
At the resort we see Beth in the most outlandish swimsuit ever (the DVD cover shows this) and all the men swooning over her. Beth ignores them all and sits to read a book. That is until Robert (seeing only her legs as shes hidden under the umbrella) comes to take a look at the gorgeous woman...only to find its his ex wife...who is now inexplicably in love with dogs. Since Sally hates his dog (because the dog likes to eat her cat) he offers it to Beth, who gladly accepts showing just how cool she is. Aunty and Radinioff (her new boytoy) arrive and they invite Robert and Sally to join them for dinner. Sally is extremely jealous, and mad that Robert gave her the dog (not because she likes the dog, she just doesn't want Beth to have it).
Later there is a huge dance and Robert is the center of attention with the ladies. Sally is furious and sends him up to get her fan which she conveniently forgot. Meanwhile Radinioff is waiting for Beth, and much like at dinner he begins flirting with Sally again. Upstairs Beth is having the same trouble doing up her dress, and by chance catches Robert and asks for his help. They become attracted to each other and Beth begs him to be with her but Robert again says he cant cheat 'like she taught him'.
Downstairs Aunty slyly points out the two have not come down yet, and Sally rushes up just in time to see Robert coming out of Beth's room. She throws a fit and tries to cling to him, but hes in no mood now. The next day, unaware the other one is doing so, both Robert and Beth pack to leave as they cant stand to run into one and another again. But on the train they end up seated next to each other and apparently make up. The title cards here are hilarious.
Once off the train Robert slips on a banana peel and cracks his head open, causing Beth's true feelings to come out. Robert is in serious condition and must not be moved or bothered until 'in the clear'. Reluctantly Beth calls Sally and tells her there has been an accident. Cue the best fucking scene in the history of cinema ever.
Sally comes rushing over to Beth's house, furious that Beth took him to her home. She comes with paramedics ready to move Robert, and does not listen to Beth about being quiet and not moving him. In desperation Beth locks her in the room and hides the key. A cat fight ensues (SERIOUSLY) and Sally almost smashes Beth's head with a jug, but luckily misses (though it doesn't appear that way because it was a red wine jug). Beth then threatens that she'll 'ruin her beauty' with a vial in her hand (whats supposed to be in there we are not told but assumedly poison). Sally freaks and finally settles down, agreeing to wait.
Time passes and Sally sleeps, while Beth keeps sad vigil over Robert's bed. Robert eventually comes through and as he does Beth gets up to hold him, leaving her 'vial' on the cushion. Sally spots it and grabs it, ready to serve the bitch with some revenge. She cusses them out, and then says she'll ruin Beth's beauty so Robert wont love her anymore. She then throws the vile on Beth who doesn't seem phased at all. Robert is concerned, and Beth tells him its no big deal, it was her 'eye wash vial' and was no harm at all. Sally.is.pissed. SHE was tricked. But what can she do now?
Time passes and its told that now the couple are remarried. At home they listen to the fox trot and Beth treats Robert like a King. She then says she has a surprise and puts on the lingerie that got them in trouble to begin with. The final title card suggest to women that if they want to keep their husbands they 'have to forget they are their wives'.
Review:
This movie was above and beyond amazing. Gloria, Thomas, and Bebe are all top notch actors of the highest caliber. I adore all 3 and to see them together is just awesomness. I had actually never seen a Thomas Meighan movie so I was extremely pleased with his performance. He was a great actor. I hear the other films the pair did are equally good. One does not fully appreciate what a good actress Gloria was. People label her a clothes horse yet she was excellent at frumpy. Compared to Monsieur Beaucaire Bebe's character was waaaay different, thus showing her versatility.
And I must say...a cat fight between Gloria Swanson and Bebe Daniels? That was hot. Amazing. Thank you Mr. DeMille. Its not a timid little thing...they go for the hair and tear the clothes and OH! Its just amazing. I personally liked the park where Gloria blocked the door, and Bebe wearily motioned to her to just move...or she was gonna throw that jug at her head. Oh...great stuff!
The title cards were extremely witty, and unfortunately I don't have the memorized quote for quote so you'll just have to see it and take my word. But for one of DeMille's last 'pre code' films he sure went all out. Greaaaaat stuff. And a classic DeMille at that. Shades of "Madam Satan" were there I swear.
The costumes were lavish and crazy as one would expect from Rambova. I cant see any person in their right mind (even in the 20s) wearing them, but sure okay why not. This was actually one of the first films Rambova's designs were used in...under Kosloff's name. And Kosloff looked like a little prick to me. What Natacha seen in him I have no clue. But in fairness he could have been a good one note character...but never a serious actor. For anyone to see this film and NOT credit Natacha...well...they are crazy. The fashion scenes SCREAM Natacha. I must admit I liked the umbrella though...and if the suits weren't so out of date they woulda been cool too.
Interesting side note. In the lingerie fashion house scene there is a beautiful wide eyed Chinese girl in the background. Shes not featured more then 2 minutes and has no lines or big role...BUT I swear to God she was Anna May Wong. IMDB, Wiki, and to my memory her bio do not list her as being in this film. HOWEVER in 1919-1920 she was still doing extra roles...so this is not unlikely. I wish I had a screen shot...I'm ordering the DVD now. But if anyone has more information on this please let me know.
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